What makes the Summer of '79 stand out as life changing was meeting my wife, Karen Jetmore. I have been thinking about this summer quite a bit lately, as we just chalked up our 30th wedding anniversary on December 22nd.
My first memory of Karen is imprinted in my memory. My best friend Mickey was dating a girl from Angola. She had just graduated high school and had rented an apartment. We stopped by to visit and see the apartment. Mickey's girlfriend, and eventual wife, Julie was doing some painting and she had some friends over helping her. I remember seeing this young girl with long strawberry/light brown hair and a pair of cut-off shorts with paint on her face. I remember asking who she was and remembering that I thought she was cute. I didn't forget her.
Just a few weeks later Mickey and Julie were going out on a date and they asked me if I wanted to go along. Julie said she would invite her friend, Karen, to come along. I thought, but not for too long, and said, "Yes."
I was living on Snow Lake, in Steuben County at the time. I quickly got ready and waited on them to arrive. When I saw them driving into the driveway I set the stage. I had some some music playing on the turntable and my back to the door looking through a stack of records. I pretended to be nonchalant and cool when they came in. But I was thinking just how cute this sweet young thing was.
Now let me say, I was not the ideal date for Karen. The biggest concern was that I was 24 years old and she was only 15. Yep, not good! On top of that I was a bass player in a country-rock band who thought he was all that and a bag of chips! I was an idiot who was totally ignorant of the fact that he didn't have a clue as to what he was doing.
I remember Karen was wearing a pair of corduroy pants that were rolled up because they were too long for her. I found out later that she was at Julies and didn't have anything to wear. She had borrowed the pants from Julie's room-mate, who was a bit taller than Karen. It didn't matter. To me, they looked great on her. I was smitten immediately. What I began to learn, in a very short time, is that I wasn't prepared for that and the confusion and immaturity caused me to make a lot of mistakes that still haunt me.
We left the house and climbed into Mickey's Monte Carlo and headed to Angola. We went to the Putt Putt golf course that was located by the drive-in theater on the north side of town. Both are now gone. A K-Mart took their place. It's now a Dunham's Sporting Goods Store and a Peeples Department Store. I don't remember much about the game. I kept taking my eye off the ball and keeping it on Karen.
I don't remember much more until the ride home to the Honky Chalet, the nick-name of the A Frame house I lived in on Snow Lake. My former house-mate and former member of the DJ Band, Sonny Tackett wrote a song about the house called Honky Chalet. The name stuck. But I digress. Back to Karen. We were sitting in the backseat. I had my arm around her and she looked up at me and we kissed for the first time. I was getting in deeper. Her eyes, her smile, and everything about her captivated me. That begin a summer of ups downs, joy, sadness, and inner turmoil in me.
We dated throughout the summer but I was torn. I loved her but her age kept haunting me. On top of that I wasn't sure about myself. I was indecisive in one way and impulsive in another. I broke up with her. It was the stupidest thing I ever did in my life! It set some things in motion that I still regret. I found out that I couldn't live without her.
One night I was at home alone with my thoughts. I couldn't get Karen out of my mind. I had never felt this way before. I had to see her. I called her on the telephone. She was in bed. I told her I loved her and I had to see her. She wanted to see me too. I was elated! Then I remembered that I was nearly out of gasoline in my truck. I told her I was coming anyway!
I drove to Pleasant Lake, where Karen lived with her parents Harold and Linda Jetmore. She was watching for me and met me at the door. She was the most beautiful sight! We were together again. But I still didn't had to come to terms with the whole thing. I finally came to the realization that I could not let her get away. I needed her to be mine forever.
I had sold my pick up truck to my dad and bought an old black Chevy Van. Mickey and I had left the DJ Band and reformed out old band with David Poyser on drums, under a new name. I bought the van so that I could carry our equipment to and from gigs. I was driving down the road in November, 1979, headed north on Main Street in Kendallville. I was going to see Karen. I was listening to the radio and "Babe" by Styx began to play. As I began to listen it spoke right to my heart about how much I loved Karen and never wanted to let her go. Here are those lyrics:
Babe I'm leavin'
I must be on my way
The time is drawing near
My train is going
I see it in your eyes
The love, the need, your tears
But I'll be lonely without you
And I'll need your love to see me through
So please believe me
My heart is in your hands
And I'll be missing you
'Cause you know it's you babe
Whenever I get weary
And I've had enough
Feel like giving up
You know it's you babe
Givin' me the courage
And the strength I need
Please believe that it's true
Babe, I love you
You know it's you babe
Whenever I get weary
And I've had enough
Feel like giving up
You know it's you babe
Givin' me the courage
And the strength I need
Please believe that it's true
Babe, I love you
Babe, I'm leavin'
I'll say it once again
And somehow try to smile
I know the feeling we're tryin' to forget
If only for a while
'Cause I'll be lonely without you
And I'll need your love to see me through
Please believe me
My heart is in your hands
'Cause I'll be missing you
Babe, I love you
Babe, I love you
Ooo-oo-oo-oo, babe
As I listened to the song finish my mind was made up. I was going to ask Karen to marry me. She had just turned 16 and was still in high school, far to young to be even talking about marriage, but I was going to ask her to marry me as soon as I got to her house.
I drove up in front of her house and she met me as I opened the van door. I wasted no time in telling her I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I asked her to marry me. She had tears in her eyes, she wrapped her arms around me and said yes and we kissed and my heart was singing. We drove to Fort Wayne and picked out some rings. It's funny how I can still remember her sitting on the engine compartment in the van because it only had two bucket seats and she wanted to sit next to me. I wanted her to sit closely as well! She had on a plaid winter jacket and I remember how her hair flowed around her shoulders over that jacket. She was everything I ever wanted.
Before we went to get the rings I asked her dad if I could marry Karen. I felt sure he would say no, but he said it was fine with him. That surprised me, but made me happy. We planned to wait to get married, but that didn't work. Just under two months later we were married in Bronson, Michigan by the mayor of the town. My mom, Verleen and my dad, Banner (Sr.) and my brothers Rocky and Joe were there, along with Karen's parents. We went to the Bonanza Steakhouse, in Coldwater, afterwards and had dinner. Harold, Karen's dad paid for the meals for the wedding party. That began our life together.
30 years later I look back and there are a lot of things that I did that I would certainly change. But the one thing I wouldn't change is that I married the love of my life. I made so many mistakes due to immaturity, ingnorance, and baggage from a horrendous childhood that I did major damage to our relationship. But the LORD saw us through it.
I made such a mess of our marriage that by 1986 it seemed like everyone who had said it would never last was right. We had two little girls at the time, Laura and Christy, but I had made such a mess of it that Karen was ready to throw in the towel. But in 1987 I threw in the towel and gave my life to the LORD. That began a work in me, and in our marriage that kept us together and resulted in another daughter, Brook, in 1990, and then later our last child, a son named Luke, in 2000.
So here we are, 30 years later, still together. I love my bride more than ever. I am committed to making the next 30 years even better than the first 30. But the excitement, joy, and newly discovered love that began it all 30 years ago is a spark that will never die and will alway be special. I'm a blessed man and I thank Yahweh every day. If it had not been for HIM and HIS work of grace in me I wouldn't be able to write this today.
Maybe you're a young man and you are newly married or you have now find the woman that is to be your wife. My advice to you is to surrender your life to Yeshua, Jesus and allow HIM to change your heart and to cause you to obey HIS commandments. You will love HIM because HE loves you so much that HE will supply you with grace. Because of your love you will keep HIS commandments. When you keep HIS commandments, contained in HIS Torah Instructions you will love and protect your wife in ways that you could never do in the flesh. HIS commandments are meant to be HIS expression of love. It is HIS expression to us, giving us Torah, and our expression to HIM to obey, and to one another in keeping them. Torah commandments are totally selfless. My problem for the first 8 years, and still working on, is selfishness. We all deal with that sin. It is the heart of an unregenerate man or woman. But HE sets us free from sin and begins a work in your life that is one of pure beauty to those you love. You will know HIS love and are able, by HIS grace to express that love. HE is waiting for you to respond to HIS Voice. Hear HIM and repent of your own ways, believe the promises contained in HIS Word that HE will change you so that you can live pleasingly before HIM, and you will begin to change. You will love it, your bride will love it, and you won't sow so many bad seeds and reap a bitter harvest like I have.
Blessings...... -Banner
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